Out of Character
by rubbersoul1967
Summary: A fic where the Gundam pilots and their female counterparts act OOC. PG-13 for drug references. (+H) + (-2), 5+R


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Out of Character

By: Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.

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Hilde: Duo, I love you.

Duo: Really?

Hilde: You know I just pronounced my **undying **love for you.

Duo: Yeah

Hilde: Don't you care?

Duo: ...no

Hilde: You are so negative!

Catherine: Did you know it's my birthday?

Trowa: Yup!

Duo: No!

Catherine: I wasn't talking to you, Trowa! *Mutters under breath* Loser.

Quatre: Duo, stop being a smart ass!

Wufei: Why do you have to smoke Quatre?

Quatre: Because I can.

Wufei: That causes cancer!

Quatre: So? Is it any of your concern?

Wufei: Yes! We should treat our fellow man-

Relena: Shut up Wufei!

Heero: I agree with Wufei! Hatred is a-

Relena: Shut up hippy!

Trowa: Well anyways Catherine I have your present!

Catherine: Oh okay.

Trowa hands it to Catherine and she opens it.

Catherine: Oh you got me a ...thingy.

Trowa: I got that at the souvenir shop. You have to clap and the cola can dances. *Clap clap* See! Isn't that cool?

Catherine: Yeah I guess. This reminds of the wiggly bug thing that you gave me last year.

Relena: Quatre, have you received a new shipment?

Wufei: Shipment?

Heero: Oh did Quatre not tell you?

Quatre: Shut up!

Heero: He's a drug dealer or something.

Quatre: No I'm not!

Duo: Yes you are!

Quatre: Shut up bitch!

Sally Po: zzzzz

Duo: Wow I'm a bitch that's news to me.

Wufei: You know I just realized how the war was similar to all the other wars. You know the peace guy, Heero Yuy, he was shot and so was that guy in the 1910's and that started World War 1 and our war started that way too.

Relena: No one cares.

Trowa: I'll just keep clapping!

Wufei: Did you know that people are gonna cut down this rainforest in South America?

Heero: Those bastards!

Duo: Ah.

Hilde: Poor animals.

Heero: Yeah that's why I'm a vegetarian.

Relena: Meat rules!

Heero: No it doesn't! They feed animals all these chemicals so they can be larger and they live in small cages! 

Heero sobs.

Dorothy: Catherine, have you found the word of God?

Catherine: Uhhh...

Wufei: Did you know that we feed 70% of the wheat we grow is eaten by cows and the-.

Relena: Will you ever shut up?

Wufei: No.

Relena: What did you say?

Wufei: Nothing.

Relena: Good!

Sally: zzzzzz

Quatre: Here you go Catherine. *Quatre hands Catherine a package*

Catherine: Oh what is it?

Duo: Probably Cocaine.

Quatre: Shut up! *Whispers to Catherine* Open it when no one is around!

Heero: I've had enough of your insults! You say sorry!

Relena: Be quiet tree hugger!

Trowa: Heero you look funny dressing like a hippy!

Hilde: Sally, someday Duo and I will get married and we'll have a lot of kids!

Sally: zzzzzz

Hilde: We will have our honeymoon at...I'm not sure yet.

Dorothy: Oh Relena I've heard about you're problem.

Relena: Leave me alone!

Dorothy: Here's The Bible the word of God brought me tons of joy!

Relena looks offended. Dorothy hands everyone The Bible.

Heero: But I like being Buddhist.

Wufei: Please, do not begin your sentences with conjunctions. It really bothers me.

Relena: What is so good about religion anyway? 

Trowa: I like free stuff! Hey Heero can I see if I can make you unconscious by pressing this part of your neck?

Heero: Wouldn't that hurt?

Duo: No, not a bit.

Heero: You shouldn't lie Duo.

Quatre coughs.

Heero: Quatre why don't you try Acid or PCP?

Quatre: That makes you a hippie. I am not a hippie!

Wufei: For those of you at home don't do drugs they can mess with your mind and your brain-

Hilde: Who are you talking to?

Wufei: I don't know.

Relena: He's just a freak.

Wufei: You're just jealous.

Relena: Why would I be jealous of you?

Trowa: If you could be anywhere where would it be?

Heero: Woodstock 69!

Duo: In my bed sleeping.

Relena: Leave me alone!

Hilde: At my wedding.

Catherine: Hilde you scare me a lot, why do you wear a T-shirt with Duo on it?

Hilde: I told you I love Duo!

Catherine: Too much.

Hilde: What?

Catherine: Nothing.

Duo got up and walked away.

Hilde: Where are you going? Can I go? Can I?

Duo: Uh... how about no! *Duo opens the door and leaves*

Hilde follows.

Catherine: I'm going to check this out! *Catherine follows Hilde and Duo*

Trowa: Wait for me Catherine! *Trowa follows Catherine*

Catherine: Leave me alone!

Dorothy: I'm going to pray that Hilde doesn't kill him or have any pre-marital sex with Duo.

Heero: Fight huh? I better stop this!

Quatre: Cool! A fight!

They all leave.

Sally: zzzzzz

There is a moment of silence.

Wufei: So... Relena... now that we are alone. *Wufei puts his hand on her thigh*

Relena punches Wufei in the face and runs.

Wufei: Ow!

The End?

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Who are they?

Hilde - (Dangerously) Obsessed with Duo

Sally - Sleeps a lot, a slacker

Heero - A hippie

Relena - A gothic girl

Trowa - Weirdo, typical average kid in my area

Quatre - Drug dealer, Drug lord

Wufei - Geeky kid that likes to say facts and talks a lot; a goody-goody

Dorothy - God lover

Catherine - One that gets disappointed a lot, doesn't like anyone too much, she thinks Trowa is a loser

Duo - A pessimistic boy that hates everyone and is depressed a lot.

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